“Manners, Esp. the Use of `po’ and `opo’ and How These are Absent in the Filipino Language.”
Name of parent: Christine Arteta
Occupation: WAHM
Name/s and age/s of kids: Avienda Arteta (5)
1. In your family, how important is the use of proper/good manners? How do you teach good manners to your children?
It is very important! Even to us parents and to our helpers, not just kids, we encourage everyone to say please, thank you, po and opo. We teach by explaining, and most importantly, we teach by example.
2. Do you teach/encourage your kids to use “po” and “opo” when speaking to their elders? Why or why not? If yes, how do you do so?
No (for Avienda). She speaks English. But now that she is starting to learn Filipino, we stress to her that “po” and “opo” is how you should answer politely to anyone. And again, we teach by doing what we teach.
3. Do you teach/encourage your kids to “bless”/”mano” or seek their elders’ “blessing” by the laying of hands on their foreheads? Why or why not? If yes, how do you do so?
Bless and mano is important. It is a very Filipino tradition that we all should be proud of. It is a very good and polite way of greeting, especially the elderly.
4. Since “po” and “opo” are not part of the English language, is it difficult for you to teach their usage to your kids? Why or why not? If yes, how do you overcome these difficulties?
No. It is not too difficult if from the start, you use “po” and “opo” instead of “oo”. “Yes” is still acceptable when answering in English.
5. Do you think other Filipino parents, even those who are living abroad, should teach their kids “trademark” Filipino manners like saying “po” and “opo” and “mano”? Why or why not?
Yes! “Po” and “opo” and “mano” are one of the best Filipino manners that we should pass on to younger generations. It is also one way of showing patriotism. =) Anything that is good is worth sharing to young generations.
Name of parent: Jane Robles
Occupation: Retired Optometrist
Name/s and age/s of kids:
Fiona – 13
Lance – 11
Ziane – 3
1.
– It is very important bec. for me it is the benchmark of their character. People can see how they were raised by their parents by the respect and politeness they regard others. That’s why I always remind them to use “po/opo” in their conversations.
2.
– Yes. I often cite to them other kids (esp. their classmates) who talk to me who wouldn’t use “po & opo” and I tell them how bad impression these kids give to me.
3.
– Yes. I tell them how their teachers would come to me and tell me how happy they are that my kids are among the very few who would use “po/opo” when speaking to them. I also show them comments by other online moms who post in my fb/multiply sites of how respectful they think my kids are. As I’ve always pointed out, receiving compliments on their good character makes me prouder than hearing how cute or pretty or fashionista they are.
4.
– It’s not that hard. My youngest child speaks English but she knows how to answer “opo”.
5.
– Yes, to still show respect even if they don’t know any other Filipino words, at least those 2 words “po/opo”.
Name of parent: Susan C. Fabian
Occupation: clerk
Name/s and age/s of kids:
FAITH-4 YRS OLD
CYRENE – TURING 2 (22 Months old)
1. & 2. It is important the use of proper/good manners like using the “po and “OPO”.It is our tradition and or benchmark to use these. As early in their age like Cyrene at her 19 mos, knows already to say opo, it is good to teach them the polite manners.and when they talk to the elders like tita, tito anfd neighboorhood when they miss to say the po and opo, I remind them.
3. YES!i teach teach/encourage my kids to “bless”/”mano” or seek their elders’ “blessing” by the laying of hands on their foreheads.Faith & Cyrene always do that, in times that they forgot to do it, I always remind or in that moment, I tell them “mano ka kay Tito or Tita” Im proud that they do it..especially cyrene because as young at her age, she is doing it…
4. Using our polite words are not hard..Either the kids are English speaking or not english speaking, we should encourage to use our local polite tradition..
5. YES!! I think other Filipino parents, even those who are living abroad, should teach their kids “trademark” Filipino manners like saying “po” and “opo” and “mano”. because as a parent especially as Filipino, we are proud that pur kids are showing respect to the elders and they may be as the model to continue our tradition to respect the elders… 🙂
Kim Espartero, Teacher, Enzo (4 yrs old). Good manners are very important and the best way to teach is to be a good example. Since he already knows how to count, read and write we are focusing on teaching him values and proper behavior. My husband is better at encouraging our son to use “po and “opo” when speaking to elders and to seek blessing from grandparents (mano). I grew up in a household that speaks in English most of the time and we weren’t accustomed to “mano” since my parents and relatives preferred kissing on the cheeks, handshakes or hugs. As a result, Enzo only does “mano” to his paternal grandparents, some godmothers and godfathers. Regarding the use of po and opo, if he speaks in Filipino and he is talking to someone older, he is aware that he should use these words of respect. He is reminded that no matter what language he chooses to use, the tone of voice, word choice, gestures and manners should always be POLITE.
Abby Sasscer, wife, mother, teacher, author- Mia (11), Ian (7) and Elisa (4).
1. Manners are always taught as a basic expression of love at home. For the lower grades, social studies is nothing but a study of manners at home. Our home is our first basic social unit. Respect within the home teaches respect within society.
2. Since my children are half Americans, they don’t use po and opo, however we teach manners such as ate, kuya, please, thank you, excuse me, may I, and we also teach them to say “May I be excused? Thank you for the food.” before leaving the table. Part of good table manners too is getting up and clearing one’s own place setting.
3. Since my own grandparents have been in the States since the 1960’s, they have always prefered a kiss on the cheek and a hug from their grandchildren. My parents are the same way with my children. They prefer a kiss and a hug and some cuddle time on their laps.
4. Since po and opo are not part of the English language, wev’e decided to add more things to our manners list. When Mama asks for something to get done, the expected response is “Right away, Ma’am” or “yes, Ma’am”. The children are trained that delayed obedience is considered disobedience.
5. Po and opo and mano are mere expressions of love and respect within a particular culture. There are many other ways to teach manners, and expressions of love more fitting for my children’s heritage (Filipino/ French / English ) therefore I don’t require my children to do them. I simply replace them with other ways of expressing good manners. They still use Filipino expressions such as Ate and Kuya but the most important thing we’re teaching them is what St. Paul wrote about love in Corinthians “Love is patient, love is kind, it is not arrogant or rude, love does not insist its own way, it is not irritable. In the end, there are three things that last: faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love” Hope this helps Mama Tins (-:
Josette Urgino
Ditto with Abby’s well-written response! 🙂 Hehe. Tamad ko no? But seriously, that’s exactly what we do. Though, the kids are not half-American. They do “mano” and Joey picks up our po and opo when we talk to our parents though so sometimes he’ll use it when he’s trying to speak in Filipino.
Maricel Cua
Hi Tina! : ) Same with the other moms – Lia uses “po” and “opo” when speaking in Filipino and addressing elders (e.g. when talking to househelp, sales ladies, etc). If she is speaking in English, we are more concerned with her tone : )
Teresa Gumap-as Dumadag
Gian Timothy is 3 years old and Hector Mateo is 3 months old. I’m at SAHM and author who is freelance writer and HR Consultant.
And yes we taught our boy to say po and opo and to ask for blessing through pagmamano because it’s part of our Family Mission Statement to pass on Filipino traditions to our children.
Mia Zulueta
This is interesting… Good manners are definitely important. But not all Filipino families use Filipino expressions… Only because they express respect in other ways…
I grew up speaking English at home, hence, I was not used to using “opo”… I must admit I had to get accustomed to using it when I was older… Same goes for referring to others in the 3rd person like using “kayo” instead of “ikaw”… And I grew up using “beso” as a way of greeting elders… The elders did not like “mano” because it made them feel old…
On the other hand, my husband is used to “opo” and “mano” so we are now teaching this to our 2 yr old… Funny though, when we visit my side of the family, they find it weird/interesting that our son makes “mano”… And they feel that his kiss is special as he’s not used to “kissing” 🙂 … Oh, and you can tell who’s really old in the family, they’re the ones really uncomfortable with our son’s “mano” hahaha 😀
Myra Paneda, mom,wife. Aia 6y/o, Migui 2y/o.
1. Yes, in our family it is very important to learn good manners. I taught my children the “three magic words” at an early age. They are trained to use please, thank you and I’m sorry. When they… want something and they forget to say please, they are easily reminded [to say please] because mommy doesn’t comply.
2. My children either speaks straight English or straight Filipino (not taglish) so sometimes they are not able to make use of “po”&”opo”, although sometimes they answer: Yes po! But when they do speak Filipino, I always remind them to make use of “po”&”opo”.
3. Although I did not grow up doing “mano” to my parents (because they didn’t train us) they did train us to do it to our other elderly relatives. In the case of my husband’s family, it was the other way around. It was a big deal too them if one does not know how to “mano”. So now my children are taught to do “mano” whenever they see their grandparents, titos and titas. However to us, I only ask them to “mano” after the mass.
BTW, I happen to know the two types of “mano”. On my mother side, we do the thing where we get the hand of the elderly and place it on the forehead. On the other hand, on my father’s side, we never touch our elderly’s hand but simply bow down and they would place their hands on top of our head to give us blessings. I had to brief my husband about that when he 1st came to my lola’s place in Batangas.
4. I have found that since children learn best by example, they tend to remember to make use of their “po”&”opo” when we use them as well when talking to them.
5.Yes I firmly believe that these Filipino traits that are unique to us should be passed on to the next generation, because whoever you are, wherever you may be, the practice of these Filipino traits reflects our pride as Filipino people.
Cecille Villarosa, mom(nanay), wife, Pio Noel turning 5yrs. For me, using proper/good manners mean showing respect. I remind him in using the magic words (Please, Thank you and I’m sorry, po, opo, and the mano). I let him repeat for 3times so he will remember the magic words :). He learns to speak English with the aid of tv & vcd so in our home we spoke English and Tagalog/Filipino. I am turning 45 from the era where blessing is a part of our lives and my Mama reminds her grandchildren to “mano” plus kiss & hug :). It depends upon the Filipino family who left the country. The grannies are happy (parang nasa Pilipinas sila ng nag mamano mga apo nila) because of my nephews who grew up in the Philippines later migrated bringing with them the Filipino tradition.
Name of parent: Mec Arevalo
Occupation: SAHM/problogger
Name/s and age/s of kids: Iakob (4), Mikah (1)
1. In your family, how important is the use of proper/good manners? How do you teach good manners to your children? It is very important… we teach manners through immitation/modelling with the hope that they will pick it up, we also prompt them, and in some cases, we explain why something is not a good word to use. We also try as much to eat together as that provides a great opportunity for teaching and learning manners. Hubby and I also try to be consistent in our behavior so the kids know that things are really done a certain way.
2. Do you teach/encourage your kids to use “po” and “opo” when speaking to their elders? Why or why not? If yes, how do you do so? We do, if my elder child is speaking in Filipino. We don’t when he’s speaking in English.
3. Do you teach/encourage your kids to “bless”/”mano” or seek their elders’ “blessing” by the laying of hands on their foreheads? Why or why not? If yes, how do you do so? Yes, we taught and encourage our kids greeting with a blessing, aside from a kiss, and we practice them by having them line up for the priest to lay his hands on them.
4. Since “po” and “opo” are not part of the English language, is it difficult for you to teach their usage to your kids? Why or why not? If yes, how do you overcome these difficulties? I can’t really say it’s difficult because our sons are still really young and we don’t expect them to really remember its use, especially since they can still be respectful without using those words, and disrespectful even while using those words (e.g. my son shouting “kanin po” at the table is disrespectful). We just make sure that whoever is assigned to talk to them in Filipino uses the words so they can pick up the politeness.
5. Do you think other Filipino parents, even those who are living abroad, should teach their kids “trademark” Filipino manners like saying “po” and “opo” and “mano”? Why or why not? No… I would rather Filipinos really just teach good values to their kids and let good manners be one of the results.
Occupation: WAHM
Name/s and age/s of kids: Avienda Arteta (5)
1. In your family, how important is the use of proper/good manners? How do you teach good manners to your children?
It is very important! Even to us parents and to our helpers, not just kids, we encourage everyone to say please, thank you, po and opo. We teach by explaining, and most importantly, we teach by example.
2. Do you teach/encourage your kids to use “po” and “opo” when speaking to their elders? Why or why not? If yes, how do you do so?
No (for Avienda). She speaks English. But now that she is starting to learn Filipino, we stress to her that “po” and “opo” is how you should answer politely to anyone. And again, we teach by doing what we teach.
3. Do you teach/encourage your kids to “bless”/”mano” or seek their elders’ “blessing” by the laying of hands on their foreheads? Why or why not? If yes, how do you do so?
Bless and mano is important. It is a very Filipino tradition that we all should be proud of. It is a very good and polite way of greeting, especially the elderly.
4. Since “po” and “opo” are not part of the English language, is it difficult for you to teach their usage to your kids? Why or why not? If yes, how do you overcome these difficulties?
No. It is not too difficult if from the start, you use “po” and “opo” instead of “oo”. “Yes” is still acceptable when answering in English.
5. Do you think other Filipino parents, even those who are living abroad, should teach their kids “trademark” Filipino manners like saying “po” and “opo” and “mano”? Why or why not?
Yes! “Po” and “opo” and “mano” are one of the best Filipino manners that we should pass on to younger generations. It is also one way of showing patriotism. =) Anything that is good is worth sharing to young generations.
Occupation: Retired Optometrist
Name/s and age/s of kids:
Fiona – 13
Lance – 11
Ziane – 3
1.
– It is very important bec. for me it is the benchmark of their character. People can see how they were raised by their parents by the respect and politeness they regard others. That’s why I always remind them to use “po/opo” in their conversations.
2.
– Yes. I often cite to them other kids (esp. their classmates) who talk to me who wouldn’t use “po & opo” and I tell them how bad impression these kids give to me.
3.
– Yes. I tell them how their teachers would come to me and tell me how happy they are that my kids are among the very few who would use “po/opo” when speaking to them. I also show them comments by other online moms who post in my fb/multiply sites of how respectful they think my kids are. As I’ve always pointed out, receiving compliments on their good character makes me prouder than hearing how cute or pretty or fashionista they are.
4.
– It’s not that hard. My youngest child speaks English but she knows how to answer “opo”.
5.
– Yes, to still show respect even if they don’t know any other Filipino words, at least those 2 words “po/opo”.
Occupation: clerk
Name/s and age/s of kids:
FAITH-4 YRS OLD
CYRENE – TURING 2 (22 Months old)
1. & 2. It is important the use of proper/good manners like using the “po and “OPO”.It is our tradition and or benchmark to use these. As early in their age like Cyrene at her 19 mos, knows already to say opo, it is good to teach them the polite manners.and when they talk to the elders like tita, tito anfd neighboorhood when they miss to say the po and opo, I remind them.
3. YES!i teach teach/encourage my kids to “bless”/”mano” or seek their elders’ “blessing” by the laying of hands on their foreheads.Faith & Cyrene always do that, in times that they forgot to do it, I always remind or in that moment, I tell them “mano ka kay Tito or Tita” Im proud that they do it..especially cyrene because as young at her age, she is doing it…
4. Using our polite words are not hard..Either the kids are English speaking or not english speaking, we should encourage to use our local polite tradition..
5. YES!! I think other Filipino parents, even those who are living abroad, should teach their kids “trademark” Filipino manners like saying “po” and “opo” and “mano”. because as a parent especially as Filipino, we are proud that pur kids are showing respect to the elders and they may be as the model to continue our tradition to respect the elders… 🙂
1. Manners are always taught as a basic expression of love at home. For the lower grades, social studies is nothing but a study of manners at home. Our home is our first basic social unit. Respect within the home teaches respect within society.
2. Since my children are half Americans, they don’t use po and opo, however we teach manners such as ate, kuya, please, thank you, excuse me, may I, and we also teach them to say “May I be excused? Thank you for the food.” before leaving the table. Part of good table manners too is getting up and clearing one’s own place setting.
3. Since my own grandparents have been in the States since the 1960’s, they have always prefered a kiss on the cheek and a hug from their grandchildren. My parents are the same way with my children. They prefer a kiss and a hug and some cuddle time on their laps.
4. Since po and opo are not part of the English language, wev’e decided to add more things to our manners list. When Mama asks for something to get done, the expected response is “Right away, Ma’am” or “yes, Ma’am”. The children are trained that delayed obedience is considered disobedience.
5. Po and opo and mano are mere expressions of love and respect within a particular culture. There are many other ways to teach manners, and expressions of love more fitting for my children’s heritage (Filipino/ French / English ) therefore I don’t require my children to do them. I simply replace them with other ways of expressing good manners. They still use Filipino expressions such as Ate and Kuya but the most important thing we’re teaching them is what St. Paul wrote about love in Corinthians “Love is patient, love is kind, it is not arrogant or rude, love does not insist its own way, it is not irritable. In the end, there are three things that last: faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love” Hope this helps Mama Tins (-:
I grew up speaking English at home, hence, I was not used to using “opo”… I must admit I had to get accustomed to using it when I was older… Same goes for referring to others in the 3rd person like using “kayo” instead of “ikaw”… And I grew up using “beso” as a way of greeting elders… The elders did not like “mano” because it made them feel old…
On the other hand, my husband is used to “opo” and “mano” so we are now teaching this to our 2 yr old… Funny though, when we visit my side of the family, they find it weird/interesting that our son makes “mano”… And they feel that his kiss is special as he’s not used to “kissing” 🙂 … Oh, and you can tell who’s really old in the family, they’re the ones really uncomfortable with our son’s “mano” hahaha 😀
1. Yes, in our family it is very important to learn good manners. I taught my children the “three magic words” at an early age. They are trained to use please, thank you and I’m sorry. When they… want something and they forget to say please, they are easily reminded [to say please] because mommy doesn’t comply.
2. My children either speaks straight English or straight Filipino (not taglish) so sometimes they are not able to make use of “po”&”opo”, although sometimes they answer: Yes po! But when they do speak Filipino, I always remind them to make use of “po”&”opo”.
3. Although I did not grow up doing “mano” to my parents (because they didn’t train us) they did train us to do it to our other elderly relatives. In the case of my husband’s family, it was the other way around. It was a big deal too them if one does not know how to “mano”. So now my children are taught to do “mano” whenever they see their grandparents, titos and titas. However to us, I only ask them to “mano” after the mass.
BTW, I happen to know the two types of “mano”. On my mother side, we do the thing where we get the hand of the elderly and place it on the forehead. On the other hand, on my father’s side, we never touch our elderly’s hand but simply bow down and they would place their hands on top of our head to give us blessings. I had to brief my husband about that when he 1st came to my lola’s place in Batangas.
4. I have found that since children learn best by example, they tend to remember to make use of their “po”&”opo” when we use them as well when talking to them.
5.Yes I firmly believe that these Filipino traits that are unique to us should be passed on to the next generation, because whoever you are, wherever you may be, the practice of these Filipino traits reflects our pride as Filipino people.
Occupation: SAHM/problogger
Name/s and age/s of kids: Iakob (4), Mikah (1)
1. In your family, how important is the use of proper/good manners? How do you teach good manners to your children? It is very important… we teach manners through immitation/modelling with the hope that they will pick it up, we also prompt them, and in some cases, we explain why something is not a good word to use. We also try as much to eat together as that provides a great opportunity for teaching and learning manners. Hubby and I also try to be consistent in our behavior so the kids know that things are really done a certain way.
2. Do you teach/encourage your kids to use “po” and “opo” when speaking to their elders? Why or why not? If yes, how do you do so? We do, if my elder child is speaking in Filipino. We don’t when he’s speaking in English.
3. Do you teach/encourage your kids to “bless”/”mano” or seek their elders’ “blessing” by the laying of hands on their foreheads? Why or why not? If yes, how do you do so? Yes, we taught and encourage our kids greeting with a blessing, aside from a kiss, and we practice them by having them line up for the priest to lay his hands on them.
4. Since “po” and “opo” are not part of the English language, is it difficult for you to teach their usage to your kids? Why or why not? If yes, how do you overcome these difficulties? I can’t really say it’s difficult because our sons are still really young and we don’t expect them to really remember its use, especially since they can still be respectful without using those words, and disrespectful even while using those words (e.g. my son shouting “kanin po” at the table is disrespectful). We just make sure that whoever is assigned to talk to them in Filipino uses the words so they can pick up the politeness.
5. Do you think other Filipino parents, even those who are living abroad, should teach their kids “trademark” Filipino manners like saying “po” and “opo” and “mano”? Why or why not? No… I would rather Filipinos really just teach good values to their kids and let good manners be one of the results.
Truly Rich and Blessed 